To Hell and Back
by thesewallsibuilt
Summary: Castle and Beckett have been to hell and back together. But when Beckett is kidnapped and tortured and Castle can't do anything but watch from the video feed of a computer screen, can they really make it back?
1. Chapter 1

_Takes place near the end of season 3. The shooting didn't happen. I really hope everyone enjoys the first chapter of this story._

_Disclaimer: I do not Own Castle_

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><p>Kate Beckett knew she had forgotten something. All night she had felt that something was off while sitting alone in her apartment. She had considered calling someone, but no—she didn't want to sound paranoid. What a mistake that had been.<p>

It was so dark in this tiny room that she couldn't even see the hands she was holding directly in front of her face. She had acquired large gashes all over them from the attack. She was hoping that if she held her hands close enough, she would be able to see the extensiveness of her injuries. Clearly, the harsh darkness of the room that held her captive refused to allow that.

She decided to case the area instead. That menial task alone proved more difficult then she had expected. She could tell the room was tiny because when she stretched out her arms she could feel the walls on either side. She found it odd that her captors had decided to bind her legs and back to the chair, but not her hands. Surely they couldn't underestimate her _that _much as to leave her hands unbound.

The binds that held her to the chair refused to allow her to bend over and feel her leg binds, so she settled for undoing the straps around her back first. All of a sudden, Kate completely understood why her captors had given her the luxury of keeping her hands free. Metal shackles that refused to budge no matter how hard she pulled bound her.

She started to panic now. Millions of questions flew through her mind at such a fast rate that she had no hope in the world of answering them. She clearly had been kidnapped, but why? What did her captors want from her? How dangerous were they? She wished more then anything to be back in her apartment, snuggled into her bed with a good book.

Kate took a deep breath and tried her best to think of a plan of escape but before she could finish that thought, lights sprang to life all around her. She squinted her eyes at the sudden brightness, trying her best to familiarize herself with the area before anything happened. She realized quickly that she was not in a room at all, but at the end of a _very _narrow hallway. She tried to move her seat backwards, but not only was it attached to the ground, but there was nothing behind her but a solid concrete wall. She was at the end of a dead end.

She was about to yell out for help when a door at the other end of the hallway opened and two men wearing masks and holding a tiny laptop walked in.

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><p>Castle arrived at the precinct promptly at 9:30am like he did every day. With two coffees in hand, he strolled into the area where his partner and friends worked. He ran into Esposito first. "Hey, man. I've been wondering… why do you never get Ryan and I coffee's?" He asked, not even turning to acknowledge Ryan who had just walked up to the two men. "Ya, Castle! Are we not pretty enough for you?" Ryan chimed in; all the while both guys were making their best "pout" faces.<p>

Castle just looked at them with an amused expression. "Very funny, guys. Where's Beckett?" He asked, eyes raking the precinct for any sign of his favorite detective. It was odd for her not to be here on time and he knew for a fact she wasn't on call today.

"She hasn't come in yet. I'm sure she just overslept or something." Esposito said nonchalantly. Even though he tried his best to hide it, Castle could tell he too was wondering what was up. Beckett was definitely not one to skip work without telling anyone. Even if she was on her deathbed, all three men knew that she would at least call in to say she wouldn't be there.

Castle was about to press the issue further when Captain Montgomery stepped out of his office. "Ryan, Esposito, Castle… get in here _now_." He said with a stern, commanding voice. They all cast shocked glances at each other before hurrying toward the captain's office. Castle had a sick feeling in his stomach… something was definitely wrong.

As soon as the writer stepped into the office, he was met with the image of a very stressed out Montgomery. The captain was sitting at his desk with his laptop open and head resting between his two hands. Esposito shut the door behind him to alert Montgomery of their presence there.

"I know how hard this is going to be to digest so I'm going to come right out and say it." The captain paused, and Castle's heart plummeted into his stomach. He _knew _whatever he was about to find out was not going to be good. He nodded at Montgomery to continue.

"Beckett has been kidnapped. Her captors got a hold of me through an untraceable email account and have asked me to go on a specific video conferencing website for instructions on how we can get her back." Castle's heart was beating a mile per minute. He used every ounce of strength he had to continue listening to what the captain was saying. "They requested myself, and the three of you to be within my laptop camera's view at all times during the video conference. I have no idea why, but I am not about to play games with Beckett's life."

Castle, along with Espo and Ryan were shocked into silence. How could _Beckett _have been kidnapped? She was the strongest woman that any of them knew. None of them could believe that this was actually happening. They couldn't bring themselves to move until the captain spoke up again.

"A receipt was sent back to them as soon as I opened the email, so we have 15 minutes to send them a call. I'd suggest you all get back here so we can find out what they want." The three men robotically moved to meet Montgomery behind his desk. "I'm going to hit call now, but remember your basic training. No matter what happens, no matter what they say, do _not _give them the upper hand by giving anything away." With that, Montgomery pressed the "call" button and Castle struggled to keep his anxious breathing down.

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><p>"What do you want from me?" Kate tried her best to keep her voice from shaking. She didn't want them to know that she was scared. She refused to give them the satisfaction of knowing how she was really feeling. She knew she was a master at hiding her emotions, and knew the exact indifferent look she was giving her captors.<p>

"Katherine Elizabeth Beckett. Daughter of Jim and Johanna Beckett. Born on November 17. Homicide Detective for the NYPD, 12th Precinct." Kate looked back and forth between the two men, attempting to keep her face unimpressed. Once again, she used all her strength to keep her voice steady.

"So you googled me, do you want a gold star? I tell me something I don't know and please, start with why I'm here." The second man laughed then. "Wow, you _are _quite sassy, young lady. We're going to have to do something about that mouth of yours but lucky for you, we'll have to hold off on that." The man spoke with a British accent, "for now, you can call me English and my friend here New York. But, when you introduce us later, or whenever we give you a command, you are to refer to us as Master and Lord. If you refuse to obey, there will be some nasty consequences. Do we understand each other?"

Kate wanted to spit in their face. "Yes." She responded as venomously as she could. The man tsked at her. "Ah, ah, ah. What did I say?" She gave him a look of pure hatred. "Yes, master." He walked over and stroked her cheek. As a reflex reaction she slapped his hand away. That earned her a slap across the face. Her eyes watered at the force of the impact, but she refused to allow any tears to fall.

"Well Kate, you've now given me no choice but to tie your pretty little hands behind your back." He said, unattaching a rope he had hanging from his belt. Slowly, he grabbed her hands and bound them together behind her back. She decided against fighting. She knew she would need all her strength for whatever they had planned for her.

"They're calling." New York said just as English finished with her hands. Kate couldn't hold back a shiver from the man stroking her arm with his finger. "Excellent! Go ahead and answer it." Kate was worried about what this call was about. Maybe they were hired by someone to kidnap her and they were now making contact? What did they have planned for her?

British and New York both stood in front of her, staring intently at the laptop. "Don't speak." British (who seemed to be the more dominant of the two) said to whoever was on the other line of this call. "I'd introduce myself, but I think I'll just have your lovely friend do the honors for me." He said, turning to Kate now. "Kate, dear, would you please introduce my friend and I to our viewers, and please be possessive about it."

It took Kate a moment to understand what the man meant by "possessive" but after a moment of brief thought, she understood. Refusing to look up at the laptop that was now pointed to her, Kate spoke. "This is my master and my lord." She said in a strong, clear voice. She hated the way it sounded, she hated her captors more then anything for making her say it.

"Kate, will you please look up at the camera and smile at your friends. Its awfully rude to not look at someone when you are speaking to them." Kate took a deep breath before she looked up and faced the callers. She gasped in surprise at what the laptop showed. There, in front of her, was Captain Montgomery, Ryan, Esposito, and worst of all… Castle. She sighed in relief when she recognized Montgomery's office; she had been worried for a moment that they were captured too.

"Now, here's what I want. The majority of you are testifying on the Harry Neil case, correct? Nod if I am. I don't want any speaking from the four of you." Kate watched as her colleagues nodded their heads. "Well, I want you to sway the jury and make him go free. I don't care what you do or how you do it. As long as Harry Neil is an acquitted man 3 days from now. Understand me?" Again, the four men nodded.

If her colleagues weren't going to speak up, then she sure as hell would. "Are you crazy? Do you really think anyone in the courtroom is going to believe them if they just throw the trial? You really are more stupid then you look." It was a figure of speech; the two men were wearing masks. But Kate had meant to hit a nerve, and judging by their stoic body positions, she knew she had.

New York spoke then, in an eerily calm voice. "Well, I guess Kate has given us the perfect lead in to our next topic. Incentive." Kate was forced to suppress another shiver. This part had been inevitable, but that didn't make it any less terrifying. She could deal with being tortured alone, but with her partners sitting on the other end watching it… she didn't think she could deal with that part.

She couldn't help but think about Castle. The man who had been through hell and back with her. The man who stood in front of a bomb with her, and held her while they froze to death in a cellar. She knew if the roles were reversed it would be a worse kind of torture to have to sit through watching the man she—cared about be hurt. Looking at his face through the laptop screen now, she could tell the same thoughts were running through his mind. She tried to make some form of eye contact with him through the camera. She wanted so badly to tell him not to look, to turn away but she knew if she said that her captors would only make it a rule that he had to watch.

New York, who had left the hallway for a few seconds, came back with a table and something else he was holding behind his back. Smiling evilly, he placed the laptop on the table, and the two men slowly approached her.

New York finally decided it was time to reveal what he was holding behind his back. His hand shot out quickly as if he wanted to create a dramatic entrance for his weapon of choice, and she saw that he was holding not one, but two whips.

"I don't enjoy inflicting pain on others too much." The man said, handing one of his whips to English, all the while making a slow and steady approach toward her. "But this part," he said when he finally reached her, "I don't mind too much." He tucked the whip handle underneath his arm and kneeled down in front of her. She watched in horror as he began to undo the buttons of her blouse.

With surprisingly little difficulty, considering the shackles that bound her to the chair, New York used scissors to assist in removing her shirt. Kate felt exposed and embarrassed now that she was sitting in just a bra and jeans in front of every single man she worked closely with. She took one last glance at the laptop before closing her eyes. She didn't want to see their faces while she was being tortured and she certainly didn't want her captors to see the pain in her eyes. As she ripped her gaze away from Castle's face, she could have sworn she saw tears rolling down his cheeks.

The next thing Kate heard was a sudden whoosh of air and a pain that—had her eyes been open she would have described it as blinding. She couldn't help but let out a scream as the excruciating pain burned across her stomach. With hardly any pause in between, she took a blow to the shoulder, then another on her shoulder. The pain was horrible. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop herself from screaming out in pain, and the tears she had tried so hard to keep from falling streamed from her eyes now.

After 3 more slashes of the worst pain she had ever experienced, Kate finally drifted into unconsciousness. The last thing she heard was Castle's screams through the laptop speakers.

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><p><em>Ok, so I am not so sure about how long this is going to be yet, but I figured that there aren't nearly enough stories like this where Castle and Beckett are concerned. This is style of story is very new to me, so reviews and feedback would be absolutely amazing. Thank you!<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_I dislocated my knee at soccer practice tonight, so I'm on strict bed rest until the morning. For those of you who are active or play sports, I highly suggest investing in knee braces. These injuries __kill __and I honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone._

_Anyway, here is chapter 2. I was surprised to wake up to 68 new emails on my phone. You guys are amazing, thank you so much. Your reviews and feedback mean the world to me._

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><p>"Kate!" Castle screamed at the images on the screen. He didn't care where he was; he didn't care if half of the precinct could hear him. All he could think about was his partner being tortured in front of his eyes.<p>

Castle continued to scream for her until they stopped the torture. He saw that she was slumped over and unresponsive. The pain must have been so much that her body hadn't been able to take it. Castle himself felt like he had just been tortured. Everything seemed to be on fire. His skin was too hot, his vision had taken on a red tint and his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

He watched the men walk back toward the laptop. They were both wearing masks, but by the tone of their voices, Castle could tell they were smiling. "Well now that we've given you a tiny example of what we can do, we expect the Harry Neil hearing to be ruled in our favor in 3 days. Otherwise…" English pulled out a gun and pointed it backwards toward where Beckett sat unconscious. "I'll have to dispense of your girlfriend here."

Castle knew he was talking directly to him. He could practically feel his eyes burning into his own. The writer slightly moved Montgomery out of the way so his face could fill up the screen. He spoke quietly, but his voice was dangerous nonetheless. "You bastards. I am going to kill you for this. I _will_ make you pay." He struggled to hold back the snarl that was on the verge of escaping his throat.

Montgomery had to use all his strength to pull Castle back behind him. Though he was angry as well, they couldn't afford to anger Beckett's captors. "We'll do what you ask, as long as you don't hurt her and continue to send us confirmation that she's alive." The men smiled a little at his words. They made a show of thinking over his conditions before they spoke again.

"Fine." English said in a voice that made Castle want to rip out his vocal chords so he could never use it again. "We'll continue to send you confirmation of her survival. The torture, on the other hand… we make no promises. And you can't thank pretty boy behind you for that." He then waved and clicked the "end call" button.

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><p>Kate groaned. Pain flared up in her stomach, shoulders and back as soon as she tried to move out of her seated position. Slowly, she began to bring herself back to reality. She had been kidnapped and tortured. How could this have happened? She thought back to the previous night.<p>

_Kate was sitting in her apartment watching some TV. She smiled a little when the program she had been watching ended and Temptation Lane began playing. She used to love watching the show because it had been something she had shared with her mom, but now, her heart warmed at the mention of the program for different reasons._

_Kate allowed her mind to wander while the actor's voices slowly became merely background noise to her thoughts. Castle. A grin split across her face at the mere thought of him. The way he dressed, his crooked smile, the way he managed to make her smile even in the worst of situations. It was almost as though he had been created for her. No… she couldn't think about him like that. He was her partner, and she was Kate Beckett. She was supposed to be the controlled one, the one who always turned down his constant advances. But oh how the man got to her some times._

_She thought about the way he treated Alexis—and even the way he treated Martha. She already knew that despite the playboy persona that the tabloids had given him he was a genuinely good guy. But when he was with his family, and the way he cared for and spoke about them—well… it made her want to throw herself in his arms. With that her imagination ran wild._

_Kate shook herself (mentally and physically). Clearly she couldn't be left alone with her own thoughts for too long. She started thinking about—ok this needed to stop. Deciding the best thing to do was to occupy her mind some other way, Kate grabbed a book (one not written by the author she was trying to stop thinking about), and walked to her bedroom._

_Kate felt like she had forgotten something. Suddenly, everything seemed slightly off and something about sitting alone in her apartment just didn't feel right to her. Briefly, she thought about calling someone, maybe asking them if they wanted to come over. But once she realized that she had a specific someone in mind, she tossed her cell phone to the end of her bed. She was supposed to be distracting herself from him, not debating about whether or not she was going to invite him over!_

_Kate read for about an hour when she heard a distinct sound coming from her living room. Her heartbeat quickened at the sound. Mentally, she cursed herself for putting her gun in the safe that night. She had thought it was a good idea at the time but now… major regret. _

_Slowly, she walked out of her room. Deep down she hadn't expected anyone to have broken in, so when she found herself staring at an empty apartment, she breathed a sigh of relief. She released her tensed shoulders, unclenched her hands, and took one more look around before turning to get back to bed._

_Suddenly, Kate felt something hit her. She didn't even have time to scream before her body turned itself into defense mode. She kicked out behind her, a move her attacker clearly hadn't been expecting. He swore loudly and tried to push her to the ground before she could turn around. She wasn't going to have that._

_She spun around and attempted to get a punch in but paused when she saw the gleaming silver of a knife resting in the palm of her attacker's hands. "Good girl." He said as she slowly backed away from him. "Unfortunately for you that kick is going to cost you. I'm thinking a nice scar across that pretty face of yours. Sound good?" He said, now advancing on her while holding his knife out ready to attack._

_He lifted his arm and quickly brought it down in a slashing motion. Kate instinctively held her hands out to protect her face and felt pain sear through them as the knife cut her hand deeply enough to immediately draw mass amounts of blood._

_For a moment, she thought she had won. She thought maybe her attacker had realized the damage he had done and decided to give up and run because in that moment, he dropped his knife. To her immense disappointment, however, it seemed she wouldn't be so lucky. Again her attacker advanced on her, this time looking more dangerous with his hands balled up into fists._

_She tried to defend herself, but he was too strong. Before she knew it, he was holding her in place with one hand, and his other was swinging toward her face, and all she could do was tense herself for the inevitable pain. The blow struck hard, and for a brief moment she felt pain. Then… blackness._

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><p>Castle was hyperventilating. He couldn't see straight and his entire body was shaking. He couldn't stay still, so he paced the little space he could within Montgomery's office.<p>

"Castle, breathe. I think you're having a panic attack. Sit down, you have to breathe through it." Castle couldn't comprehend what Esposito was saying even though the sound of his voice seemed unnaturally loud to his ears. He did, however, allow Ryan to guide him down to the ground. He put his head between his knees and shut his eyes tight. He felt nauseous, and he couldn't stop his body from shaking.

"Castle breathe; in and out, come on man, you can do this. I know it's hard but you have to breathe… that's the only way to stop it." Castle tried his best to take deep breaths. It was hard at first but slowly his breathing became easier, and eventually it returned to its normal pace.

"Is there any way we can trace that call?" He asked in a feeble voice. He hated himself for being so weak when Kate needed him most but he couldn't keep the tremor out of his voice.

"The call was untraceable. Trust me, I tried everything." Montgomery said, finally stepping out from behind his desk to join the semi circle the boys had made around the writer.

"Is there any way we can figure out where she is? Any indication at all?" Castle was desperate. He _needed _her back. All he wanted to do was find her and hold her in his arms and never let her go. He didn't care about the obstacles, he didn't care about the tabloids or what other people would think. All he cared about was her.

"All we can see from the video was white walls. The men's completely different accents throw us off even further. I don't think there is any way we can find her just yet."

All Castle wanted to do was to get away from the precinct and cry. Maybe hug his daughter for a little while but he knew he couldn't. He knew he had to stay strong for his partner.

He wasn't going to be able to do this alone. The precinct needed extra help. Someone who knew their way around kidnappings and cared enough about Kate to help out to the best of their ability. Using what felt like all of his strength, Castle managed to get out 3 more words before collapsing his head into his hands and shutting himself down.

"Call Will Sorenson."

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><p><em>I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. I have so many thoughts for this story, but I honestly have no idea where it is going to go at the end of the day. Thank you so much for your feedback everyone is awesome!<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_So as it turns out, not only did I dislocate my knee, but when the bone came out of its socket it ended up partially tearing my MCL. More bed rest for me, I guess. You guys are benefitting from this boredom because here is another chapter!_

_As always, the feedback is incredible and I am so happy everyone is enjoying my story._

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><p>Castle was surprised at how fast Will managed to get down to the precinct. The writer was definitely not a fan of the man but he had to admit, he really cared about Kate.<p>

"What happened? Tell me everything!" Will yelled as he barged out of the elevator. He looked so desperate for information that Castle was worried he too was going to have a panic attack. Will approached Ryan and Esposito first, clearly avoiding Castle. The writer watched as his friends directed Will toward Captain Montgomery's office.

He waited until Kate's ex had closed the door behind him before hastily making his way toward Esposito and Ryan. "What did he say? Does he think he can help?" Castle was frantic for positive news. If he heard anything less he knew he was going to break.

"Castle the man just got here. We told him to talk to Montgomery, who I'm sure will debrief him on the case. I know it's hard, but you have to stay calm for Beckett." He paused, clearly thinking about the best way to say something. "If you keep going on like this Montgomery will kick you off the case. I know that for a fact. I also know that you probably want to stick around and help us catch this son of a bitch. So for your sake as well as Beckett's you need to keep your cool."

Castle sighed. He knew Esposito was right but it was so hard. How was he supposed to keep his cool when one of the most important people in his life was captured and being brutally tortured while he sat around? It was infuriating.

"I'm sorry. This is just really getting to me. Ka—Beckett is really important to me and if anything… anything happens to her—" Castle was cut off by Ryan who decided it was time to step in. The man placed a hand on the writer's shoulder and said, "Nothing is going to happen to her. We are going to catch this low life and Beckett will be just fine when we do."

Castle took a deep breath. He had to be strong and keep his cool. Not solely for the sake of staying on the case, but for Kate.

After what seemed like ages, Will and Montgomery finally left the office. They approached Castle and the boys in a matter of seconds, both wearing matching looks of grief and determination.

"First thing is first." Will started, "The video was not recordable, so I am not able to see it, but in order to construct an accurate profile of Kate's abductors, I will have to ask a question that I know will be hard for all of you to answer. But please for the sake of the investigation and for Kate herself, I need to know." He paused; making sure the four men understood him. "Did her captors give off any indication of the intent of sexual assault?"

Castle could tell he was phrasing this as delicately as he could but the man's words still knocked the breath out of him. He hadn't even thought about rape as a possibility. Anger boiled through Castle's system and for the second time that day his vision seemed to have a red tint to it. If those men laid so much as a finger on her in that way he would make it his mission in life to make them suffer more then he already intended to.

Ryan was the first to speak up. "They didn't say anything specifically, but they made her address them as 'Master' and 'Lord'. Also they took her shirt off befo—before they whipped her and the man that did it mentioned something about 'not minding that part of the job'." Castle grimaced at the words. One of his greatest attributes—his vivid imagination—was proving itself to be less then helpful at this time.

Will nodded his head, clearly angered at this information. "Ok, I am going to need to know everything that happened during this video call. I need you guys to be exact… I know it's hard." They all nodded and started explaining exactly what had happened.

"…Then they waved and ended the call." Castle finished. Will looked a little green but continued on with his professional persona.

"I am going to need about an hour, but I am going to go draw up a profile for our abductors. In the mean time, check the convict—" Will paused for a moment to look up the convict's name. "—Harry Neil's family as well as close friends. Look for anyone close to him who could have an English accent or has lived his entire life in New York. I know how broad that is but we have to start somewhere." With that, Will grabbed a white board marker and walked over to the murder board where he began to draw out a profile.

After about 5 hours, Esposito, Ryan and Castle had successfully narrowed down all of Harry Neil's relatives and close friends to 40 possible suspects. Castle would have felt a little relieved if they had known for sure that Kate's abductors were related to Harry Neil in some way. But there was no way they could know that. For all they knew his partner's captors couldn't care less about Harry Neil's case but just wanted an excuse to throw them off.

It was then that Montgomery stepped out of his office and ordered Castle to go home. After a lot of fighting and begging, the writer finally accepted defeat and left the precinct.

As soon as Castle's head hit his pillow, he was asleep. This was surprising considering he hadn't been remotely tired until the moment he got home. Maybe it was the stress; maybe it was the worry, but either way… Richard Castle was exhausted. He knew he'd need a few hours of decent sleep if he were to be of any help to this case.

The writer managed to sleep for a solid six hours before waking up and immediately driving to the precinct. Not only did he want to see what the boys had figured out, but also he _needed_ to be there just in case Kate's abductors decided to call and confirm her existence.

_Her existence_. He shivered at the thought. The mere idea that Kate could die at any moment within these next three days absolutely terrified the writer. A world without Kate was unfathomable. How would he get through his days without seeing her smile or even making her laugh at least once? What would it be like to wake up every morning and not rush to his favorite café to pick up two coffees?

Castle couldn't even picture it. His life before Kate had been great. He went to parties all the time, got all the girls, had a wonderful daughter, and as much as he hated to admit it… a loving mother. He had thought his life had been complete. But then Kate came and lit up his world. Everything was more vibrant and just _better _while she was a part of his life. Without her, he knew everything would be dull. His life would no longer be… life. He would be living, sure. But without Kate Beckett, he would no longer be _alive. _

Castle rushed into the precinct to find 3 tired detectives and an FBI agent who seemed to be on a major caffeine rush. He was about to ask what they had found out but before he could Montgomery's laptop started ringing.

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><p>Kate had never been in more pain in her life. Everything seemed like it was on fire. All she wanted was to drift back into unconsciousness, but now that she was awake, her body refused to allow her the luxury of sleep.<p>

_Pull yourself together, Kate. You need to find a way out of here. _She thought to herself and grimaced as she tried to pull at her tied hands. There had to be something she could do to undo her binds, but before she could think of something, her captors turned on the lights and entered the hall for the second time.

"Glad to see you are awake, darling! You were out for a full day!" Kate looked around forgetting for a second that there was no clock beside her that would indicate the time.

"Since your friends requested to be kept informed of your mortality, we have come to record a little message." Kate noticed the laptop New York was attempting to hide behind his back as though he wanted it to be a surprise. "We are going to call them now. If you say anything out of line I swear to God you will regret it." English practically snarled at her. _So much for the "nice" pretense._

Kate waited anxiously while they called. She looked around the hallway and was startled with what she saw. She was clearly underground because there were 2 small tinted windows at the top of the walls just like those that could be found in the average basement. She tried her best to see through those windows and make out anything that could possibly help her figure out her location. But so far, she could see nothing.

The laptop froze for a moment, and Kate knew that someone had picked it up. When she saw her favorite writer's face through the screen, she almost cried out. Somehow, merely seeing his face gave her a strength and comfort she hadn't been expecting. Now, she felt she had a _reason _to escape. The image of Castle drove her, and with her newfound strength, she felt like she could do anything.

English broke her out of her epiphany. "Have you figured out how you are going to throw the trial?" He asked Castle, clearly not knowing that he was not a cop but a writer. Castle played the part well, nonetheless. "Yes, we are going to burn the evidence in a—" he made air quotations with his hands, "freak fire. There is no way the prosecution will win without any evidence.

Kate felt shocked… but only for a moment because right after Castle finished his sentence, his nose twitched. That was his tell! He was lying and it was clear as day… to her anyway. Her captors didn't know him, so they had no way of knowing that his words were less then the truth.

"Good. I'm glad the NYPD has made the wise decision. As soon as you throw the trial you will get your precious girlfriend back." He paused, laughing at Castle's slight change in expression. "You think I didn't notice the way you were screaming for her yesterday? Please, you are more lovesick then a teenager with his first crush." English laughed.

Kate had to focus on something to keep from screaming at her captors. She didn't want to make them angry and receive another beating. Especially not in front of Castle. She decided to focus on the window instead of looking at the laptop. She stared at it long and hard and the longer she looked, the more her eyes adjusted to the light.

She saw grass outside the window, as well as the occasional shadow that would walk by. Then it hit her. They were in a building right beside central park! She remembered the car ride to her prison because she had woken up just as they were shoving her into the trunk. It hadn't been that long… 10 minutes at the most. That meant they _had _to be in New York still. Everyone knew that basically the only place in New York with grass that people actually walked on was central park!

She had to get the message to Castle. She knew he'd figure it out. _Here goes nothing, _she thought. She was about to test just how well her captors actually knew her. "Master," she started, "Can I please say something to my partner? It's about my dog. Please… she's all alone and I'm afraid she'll die without food."

English seemed to mull this over for a second. "Fine, but the message is going to cost you. And if you say _anything _you shouldn't, I'll make you wish you were never born." Kate gulped.

"Rick, you know my dog Alexis? You need to go over to my place and give her food and water. Also, she needs to be walked twice a day or else she will have accidents all over the apartment. Take her on her favorite walking route. We've walked her there before." Kate thought that was pretty vague. She knew her captors would have no idea what she had just hinted, but by the slight widening of Castle's eyes, she knew he understood.

"Now," English said venomously. "I told you the message would cost you. I figure since pretty boy _Rick—" _He sneered the writer's name, "—is already on the line, he should have the pleasure of watching. Don't you agree, darling?" He asked her, his eyes daring her to speak out against him. She had to bite her tongue to keep from saying the many remarks she wanted to respond. She knew it wouldn't benefit anyone to say anything, so she just nodded and said "Yes, Master."

The first of many blows came to her face. His hard knuckles punched her eye where she was sure to have a bruise later. It took her about 3 more blows and one strike of the whip to knock her unconscious this time. She welcomed the blackness gladly, knowing that her knight in shining armor would be coming for her soon.

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><p><em>Ok, so Castle knows where she is now! Will he be too late? You'll have to wait and see ;).<em>

_So I know Kate is extremely independent and in canon, the idea of a "knight in shining armor" would never fly with her, but I like to think through this experience she has somehow opened herself up to Castle. He has seen her at her most vulnerable state (the beating) and she is starting to come to terms with the fact that she needs him (when she saw his face she gained strength). Also, there really isn't anything Kate can do about her current situation. I mean metal shackles… not even Kate Beckett can get through those ;)_

_Reviews are always appreciated, thank you so much._


	4. Chapter 4

_So I was planning on making this an emotional chapter, but right in the middle of writing it I witnessed the new Castle promo for cuffed. I swear to you the sounds that came out of my mouth were not human. So, I hope I did this chapter justice even throughout my happy dances and flailing._

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><p>When Kate's captors hung up on Castle, his emotions were in turmoil. He was rejoicing because they were one huge step further to finding wherever they were holding her, but at the same time he was upset and angry at the torture he had once again witnessed.<p>

"Care to tell us what that was all about?" Will asked, allowing Castle to escape from his own thoughts. He had been so caught up in thinking about her that he hadn't even realized the rest of the guys had no idea what Kate had just said.

"She is being held captive somewhere in central park." He said, moving his head to rest in his hands. He was utterly defeated. He truly was trying his hardest to stay strong for Kate but after seeing her tortured like that… it felt like all of the energy in his body had been drained. Gone was the happy-go-lucky writer who was so full of life he constantly annoyed the people around him.

Will (as usual it seemed) was first to spring into action at this new piece of information. "Ryan and Esposito, narrow down our suspect list to those who live or own a piece of property around central park. Make it quick, judging by the condition we just saw, she may not have much time." The boys went to it, leaving Will and Castle alone at Beckett's desk.

"How did you know she was hinting at Central Park?" He asked, genuinely curious. Will had always been slightly jealous of the bond between the writer and Kate. The first time he had ever seen the two of them together was when he assisted them in finding a little girl who had been kidnapped. Kate had been extremely frustrated with the writer but after knowing Kate for so long, he was able to see through the act. Sure, she may have been slightly annoyed at Castle's behavior, but Will could tell even then that she was taken by him… something that hardly—if ever—happened with Kate Beckett.

"I first knew Kate was hinting something when she talked about her dog." Castle started, his voice obviously weak from the stress. "She doesn't have a dog, and she called it Alexis which is my daughter's name." He took a breath, surprised at how much energy it took for him to even talk about her.

"I put the pieces together when she talked about Alexis's favorite walking route, and how we've taken her on it before. I talk about Alexis a lot, and there was this one case we worked on that involved a murder in central park. I got upset while at the murder scene because Alexis and I go on a walk through the park every week and I was worried I wouldn't be able to do that anymore without thinking about the murder."

Will nodded. "And that's what led you to Central Park?" He asked, wondering if there was more to the story.

"No, I probably should have realized it then, but it really clicked when she said that we'd walked the route before. I had completely forgotten about that day up until now. Alexis had had a particularly rough week at school and I asked Kate to come with us on our weekly walk. Alexis looks up to Kate and I figured my daughter might have wanted some womanly advice for a change." Castle sighed, thinking about his daughter for a second. He hadn't even thought about what it would do to Alexis if something happened to Kate. He hadn't been lying when he said that his daughter looked up to her. Alexis would be crushed if this didn't go their way.

_No. _He thought, placing his head down on the desk once again, this time shutting his eyes. He couldn't even think of that. He tried to shake the thought out of his head, but before he could stop it, his mind began to wander and before he knew it he was sucked into the worst nightmare he had ever had.

_She was so beautiful. They had decided to put her in her formal uniform rather then the dress that many women would have preferred to be wearing. They knew she would have wanted to be buried as a detective. _

_Castle felt a tear slide down his cheek as he stared at her coffin at the end of the room. Another followed that single tear and before he knew it his eyes were leaking uncontrollably and his entire body began to shake._

_Kate—his Kate was being buried tomorrow. He tried to control himself but his thoughts just wouldn't shut off. Today was the last day of viewings, and it was the only day he had been able to work up the courage to come to. Seeing her so still, so pale while lying down with her arms resting neatly beside her… it was unnatural. This wasn't the woman he had fallen for all those years ago._

_He would never get to tell her just how hard he fell. Never again would he get the chance to express the feelings that he had made her feel. He brought his hands to his face in a pointless attempt to wipe his face clean of the endless tears. _

_This was the first time he had cried since it happened. Before that he had been… numb. It was as though the idea of Kate's death wouldn't register in his brain, no matter how hard Alexis and his mother tried to make him realize. But now, seeing her like this—it all hit him like a ton of bricks. _

_He knew he had to face her. The mere thought of walking the short distance to kneel before where she lay made him want to run home, curl up in his bed room and never come out. So instead, like a coward, he stood at the back of the funeral home. Watching as many people—people she didn't even know came in and grieved over her._

_He stood there until the viewing was over. He waited until there wasn't a single person left in the funeral home other then himself, the owners, and… Kate. Did she still count as a person? _

_The owners clearly saw that he wanted some time alone with her, and graciously allowed him an extra 15 minutes to say his final goodbyes in peace. Tentatively, the writer made his way up to the open casket where she lay. _

"_Oh, Kate." He started to speak but his voice broke as soon as her name escaped his lips. Taking a deep breath, he continued. He needed to do this. "I miss you so much. Not a minute goes by that I don't think about you. The idea that I'll never see you smile or hear your laugh again haunts me every day." The tears were once again flowing freely down his face._

"_I went to the coffee shop you love before coming here. I know its probably dumb but it was almost tradition that I buy you coffee every time I see you… and since this is the last time I'll be seei—" He lowered his head, trying harder then ever to keep himself together. _

"_I think that was a bad idea though. Buying you that final coffee, I mean. I left the coffee shop feeling almost normal… like I was going to meet you in 15 minutes and evaluate a new crime scene with you. But once I finished my coffee and I realized you'd never again finish yours—well you can imagine how hard that was for me to handle." Castle tried to grab her hand for comfort but once again he realized this had been a mistake. She was so cold… so lifeless. _

"_Kate I don't know how to be myself without you anymore. You were my entire world and I don't think I can survive without your guidance. What am I going to do when Alexis is giving me grief? Or when I need an escape from Mother's constant drama. Who am I going to call when I have a new idea for a scene and I need someone to run it by? Just hearing the sound of your voice, Kate… it drove me. It made me want to be the best man I could be, and now you'll never see the man I'll become." He swallowed hard, trying to take comfort in something… anything._

"_They are asking me to speak at your funeral tomorrow. They said, and I quote, 'can you say a few words about her'. How am I supposed to sum you up in a few words? I tried to capture you in four books and I still couldn't get you just right. I never told you this but you were the love of my life. We never dated, and we only kissed once, but I have never—and will never again feel that connection I did with you." He kissed her, almost hoping to see a blush fill her cheeks at the contact._

"_Why did you leave me, Kate? How could they take you from me? This pain in my heart won't go away and I don't know how to make it stop. We caught the guys who took you and they are in jail now but its not enough. It doesn't matter how long they will be punished for it will never be enough because no matter what I do, you'll be gone. I will never see you again and that's something I can't seem to come to terms with." He breathed, knowing he had to say his final goodbyes before the owners of the funeral home were forced to come and ask him to leave._

"_I promise you one thing though, love. I will find your Mother's killer and I will bring them to justice. I have no choice now but to believe in God and heaven because I hope more then anything you'll see me when I find him. My only comfort is knowing that one day we might be together again. I hope you are with your mom now, and I hope you are happy. The rest of my life will be empty without you Kate, and I hope you can hear me say these last words." He braced himself for the words he was about to speak._

"_I loved you more then life itself and I am so sorry I never got the chance to tell you. You were the most extraordinary woman I have ever known and though I am in more pain then I could have ever imagined, I do not regret a single moment we spent together. I feel so privileged to have known you and I hope more then anything that you have finally found peace. Goodbye, Kate. Until we meet again." _

_Castle got up then and walked away from the love of his life. When he turned around for one last look, the last thing he saw was a casket being shut, forever keeping the body of the woman he loved._

"Castle? Castle!" Esposito shook the writer out of his haze. Realizing he must have dozed off, Castle lifted his head quickly and looked at the detective, whose gaze softened as soon as he saw the writer's face. Castle realized he must have been crying, and as he wiped the tears off his face he thought back on the nightmare he had just experienced. He shivered at the mere thought of it.

"What did you find?" He finally asked after making his way back to reality. No matter how awful that nightmare had been, he knew he _couldn't _allow it to come true. He had to find her and prove to himself that she was in fact alive.

"Only one person out of the 40 suspects owns an apartment directly on central park. And get this. Every resident of that apartment gets a storage unit in the basement… and each storage unit has a window facing the park. Esposito smiled, then knowing what he was about to say would cheer up Castle instantly. "Lets go get her, man."

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><p><em>I have to admit, I cried while writing this chapter. I had to stop half way through the funeral scene to wipe my keyboard of the tears. I'm a really emotional person. Don't kill me though, everyone. The next chapter is the one everyone has been waiting for!<em>

_Anyway, your feedback for this chapter would be amazing as I am not really sure how I feel about it. I've never written something that emotional before._


	5. Chapter 5

_I have been so busy for the past few days, but here is the newest chapter!_

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><p>The ride to the apartment was pure agony. With every second that ticked by, Castle became more and more anxious. He knew time was precious, and that the little time Kate <em>did <em>have left may be running out.

The captors had said that they would keep her alive for three days, and since it had been two, Castle had to hold onto the hope that they kept their word. The word of two sadistic kidnappers, however, was not very reliable.

He looked out the window, realizing that they were finally nearing the building. Ryan and Esposito, who were sitting in the front of the police cruiser he was in, were stiff and clearly anticipating whatever they were about to face. They too were clearly anxious to get Kate back and face the men who took her.

When they pulled up to the apartment, Castle couldn't get out of the car faster. He was ready to bolt toward the front entrance when Esposito stopped him. "Castle, I can't allow you to go in there." The writer knew that the detective was only looking out for his best interests, but his words made him furious.

"The hell I can't! That's Beckett in there. If you think I am going to sit out here while you guys go in and get her, you are sadly mistaken." Castle was practically screaming now. He felt sorry for the way he was treating his friend, but there was no way he was going to sit outside while the men who tortured Kate were currently in the building right next to him.

"You have to listen to me, man. I know you want to help her, and I know you want to hurt the men who did this but if you are in there you will cause more harm then good. We are already going in completely blind, and we have no idea what we are going up against. We don't even know if she is in there for sure." Esposito was clearly trying to keep is voice as calm as possible. Castle too decided to make an effort to calm things down as well. He knew the longer he stayed stubborn about this, the longer it would take for the crew to get inside the building and find Kate.

"I'll make a compromise then." Castle said, with a strong steady voice, "You go in there, get the son of a bitches, and when you find Kate you call me… and not a second after." Castle crossed his arms to show that he wouldn't take anything less then those terms.

"Fine. But until you get that call, you stay here." With that, Esposito, Ryan, and the rest of the team turned around and entered the building, leaving Castle to stand outside for the worst half hour of his life.

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><p>Everything hurt. Kate felt the marks from the lashes like a constant fire burning her body. Her head throbbed so badly that she was having trouble keeping her eyes open, let alone seeing straight. Her back hurt from sitting in the same position for two days straight, and her feet had gone numb from lack of movement.<p>

All she wanted to do was break down and cry but Kate Beckett was not a quitter. Despite every single cell in her body screaming at her in protest, she continued her attempt in trying to pry her hands and feet loose from her binds.

The metal shackles holding her feet didn't seem to budge no matter how hard she tried, but the binds that held her hands together seemed to be coming undone. Her wrists were raw and burning from all of her desperate attempts.

Kate wanted to scream when the lights around her suddenly turned on. After only two days, she had come to associate lights with pain. Her entire body cringed in anticipation as if it knew that when the lights turned on the torture would begin.

Sure enough, English and New York strode in looking as confident as ever. "How are you holding up, Katie?" English said, making her want to rip herself free and attack him more then ever. How dare he use the name her parents called her… he had no right.

"I have to say I've been better." Kate replied, her tone laced with fury and disgust.

English laughed in response. "Is there anything that will shut up your smart ass mouth?" He advanced on her more quickly now, walking around her seat until he was directly behind her. She squirmed uncomfortably. She didn't like having him so close to her but completely out of her line of vision.

Before she knew it, his hands were coming around her face. Between them, was a long, thick cloth… maybe a t-shirt? It wasn't until the cloth was inside her mouth and being tied around the back of her head did she realize she was being gagged.

Her eyes started to tear up as she was being restrained in yet another place. What more could they take away from her? Before she had time to even let a tear fall, however, she heard a crash from somewhere off in the distance._ You found me, Castle. _She thought.

"Bitch, if that is the cops, I swear to God, you're going to pay." He punched her hard, and once again she found herself unable to maintain consciousness.

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><p>Esposito and Ryan led the team quietly through the apartment building. The stairs that led to the basement were metal and narrow, so they were finding it exceptionally difficult to get down quietly.<p>

Finally, they made it to the bottom without making a sound. Esposito signaled for the team to split up. Half of the team would follow Ryan and take the left hallway, and half of the team would follow him and go right.

Ryan, who had been watching Esposito's hand signals attentively, turned left without watching his step. Before he could stop himself, he ran straight in to a pale that had been lying against the wall. It fell with a loud clash, and because of that accidental give away, both teams sprinted down their designated hallways.

At the end of Esposito's hallway were two rooms. The detective stopped and strained his ears, hoping to hear any sound coming from either room. He was just about to signal his team to break down both doors when he heard a voice yelling from the other side of the door to his right. _Bitch, if that is the cops, I swear to God, you're going to pay._

The voice, which was distinctly English, was all the proof Esposito needed. He tensed his body, and with as much effort as he could, he kicked down the door.

The men with masks wasted no time springing into action. They both charged at the police who all had their guns pointed at them. "Hold your fire!" Esposito screamed at his team behind him. He wanted these men to suffer… they would _not _get an easy out.

English, knowing there was no other way out charged at the cops at the highest speed he could force his body to go. The detective knew that the man wanted to be shot… he wanted to instigate them enough so that they would shoot him and he wouldn't have to go to jail for the rest of his life. He almost smirked at his futile attempt.

Esposito, whose gun was already raised, took no time at all in aiming at English and shooting, hitting one of his kneecaps. New York, after witnessing this and watching his partner who was now screaming out in pain, knelt down and cowered in the corner on the far wall.

"I surrender!" He screamed at the police, clearly terrified of the pain that a bullet to the knee would emit. "Please don't shoot me, I surrender!" Esposito almost laughed at the man's pitiful attempt to save himself. He motioned at the men behind him to cuff both of Beckett's captors before running to the end of the hallway where she sat unconscious.

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><p>Castle was all but ready to leave his position and go charging into the building. He didn't care if he was unarmed or untrained… this was taking way too long for his liking, and all he wanted was to get Kate to the hospital where she could recover. All he wanted was for her to be safe.<p>

When his phone started vibrating and Esposito's caller ID displayed itself on the surface of the screen, Castle wasted no time in breaking into a sprint. He answered the call as he ran into the building.

"Is she ok?" Those were the only words he managed to get out in his adrenaline infused state.

Esposito sighed on the other side. "She is currently unconscious and she's pretty beaten up. She definitely needs medical attention soon. Listen, man. You need to brace yourself for this. It is not a pretty sight." Without saying goodbye, Castle ended the call and forced his body to move faster.

He flew down the stairs and ran down the right hallway where he could see the team standing. Without hesitating, and not caring who was in his way, the writer burst into the hallway where Kate was being kept.

He, apparently, had arrived right on time because just as he reached her, Esposito and Ryan had managed to remove the shackles of her chair. He reached for her as her body slumped forward, no longer bound by the uncomfortable metal that had kept her for two days.

Slowly, he removed her from the chair and lifted her into his arms. He sat down on the ground, cradling her as if she were a small child, not caring who saw or what they thought of him. He kissed her gently on the forehead, trying to wipe the tears that were escaping his eyes.

She moaned, clearly fighting to regain consciousness. "Shh, Kate. Its ok, I'm here now. You're going to be just fine. An ambulance is on its way, honey. Everything is going to be ok now." He held her close to himself, carefully making sure that his grip and hold on her wasn't too tight.

The minutes he sat there with her in his arms passed as if they were seconds. When the medical crew finally came to retrieve her, it took all of Castle's will and energy to hand her over to them. "I am riding in the ambulance with her." He said, making sure they knew he refused to take no as an answer.

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><p>The ambulance ride was fast and before he knew it, he was sitting in the emergency room, cradling his head between his hands. For the next few hours, he didn't move from that position. Only when a doctor called for "the family of Kate Beckett" did he lift his head.<p>

"Before I begin, I'll tell you that Kate is stable and she should make a full recovery." Castle breathed out a sigh of relief. "She suffered from 4 fractured ribs, a fractured cheek bone, and a minor break in her left arm. Her whiplashes are extensive and will require strong antibiotics. The worst of her injuries, however, is her lung. It seems the movement from the chair she was being held captive in to the ambulance caused one of her fractured ribs to poke at her left lung. When we got to the hospital, that rib ended up puncturing her lung pretty extensively. We took her into surgery to stop the bleeding and everything went well." The doctor paused, giving Castle (who just now noticed that Lanie, Esposito, Ryan and Montgomery were standing around him) time to process what he had just said.

"Your friend is a fighter. Many people in the same circumstances probably would have died from shock, or have gone into cardiac arrest from the pain they were experiencing. You are all very lucky." Castle nodded, unable to get a word out to thank the doctor.

"When can we see her?" Lanie was first to speak up.

"If you would like, you can see her now. She is still unconscious and shouldn't be awake for a few hours but she isn't in critical care so regular visiting hours apply. Unfortunately, only 4 of you are allowed in the room at a time."

"You guys go ahead." Castle said to the group. "I'll go in after. I don't plan on leaving her side until she wakes up, so this way if any of you want to go home after you are finished visiting you can."

No one argued with the writer.

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><p><em>She's alive and safe! The story is not over here so don't worry. You guys have been so amazing with your feedback and I am so glad you have been enjoying my story! I am also really glad that I no longer have to write any torture scenes. I don't think I will be writing any more for a very long time… too scary and sad.<em>

_Anyway, as always, reviews are always appreciated. Thank you so much again._


	6. Chapter 6

It took about half an hour before Castle's friends began to file out. Finally, after about 45 minutes of waiting, he was alone with Kate in her hospital room. Her steady heart beat monitor proved as a constant reminder that she was breathing and alive.

Somehow, even in her beat up state, she still looked beautiful in Castle's eyes… and above all else she looked vulnerable. He had never seen her look so vulnerable in her entire life. Even when faced with death—hell! Even on the live stream he watched from Montgomery's computer. Kate Beckett was not one to express vulnerability but looking at her now, he was reminded of a little girl.

The hours slipped past quickly and Castle didn't move an inch. He had brought one of the visiting chairs up close to her bed so that he could rest his head beside the hand he was holding.

It was weird that the nurses hadn't kicked him out yet. It was clearly past visiting hours and he had heard them walking from room to room earlier gently telling family members and loved ones that it was time for them to leave but oddly enough they didn't set foot in Kate's room.

It was around 3am when the detective began to stir. As soon as Castle felt the slight movements she was making, he shot up from his seat. "Kate?" He asked, wondering if she was merely moving in her sleep. He stroked the side of her face softly with his hand.

It was then that her heart monitor began to beep faster. It was clear she was panicking. Whether she was scared or in pain, Castle had no idea but the steady quickening of her heart rate worried him more and more with every beep.

"Nurse!" He called, desperately seeking some explanation as to what was happening.

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><p><em>Kate looked around her. She was in the most beautiful meadow that she had ever seen. Looking down at herself, she saw that she was wearing a simple long white dress. It wasn't formal, but it was certainly not something she would casually wear just on any day. <em>

_The meadow she was in had more flowers then she had ever seen in her life. For a reason unknown to her, she laughed out loud. There was something about this place that made her blissfully happy. Happier then she had felt in a very long time._

_It was then that she noticed a woman not too far away from her kneeling in the flowers. Clearly, this woman was smelling the beautiful flowers and enjoying them just as much as Kate was._

_Hesitantly, she walked over to the kneeling woman. She walked slowly to avoid startling the woman who seemed too consumed with smelling the flowers to notice Kate's steady approach. She decided to speak; maybe then the woman would notice her presence._

"_Where are we?" She asked, not realizing the stupidity of her question until the words escaped her lips. The woman, who had clearly heard Kate's question, took another moment to lose herself in the flowers before looking up. As soon as she saw her face Kate was hit with a force of emotions so huge that she thought she was going to topple over._

"_Mom?" Kate asked, her voice suddenly sounding young to her own ears. Johanna smiled from ear to ear as she slowly stood up from her kneeling stance. Kate lost all reservations then and ran full speed at her mother until she was in her arms and hugging her with everything she had._

"_I was wondering when I would be able to speak with you again, Katie." Johanna said, making Kate's eyes well up with tears. Her voice was the exact same as she had remembered it. She never wanted to let go of the woman who was now stroking her back._

"_I don't know what's going on, Mom… but I've missed you so much." She said, allowing her tears to run freely down her face. This had to be a dream but Kate didn't care. This was the best dream she had ever experienced and she didn't want to wake up._

"_I don't think I have much time, Katie, so you have to listen to me ok?" Johanna pulled away from her daughter and held her face in between her hands. Kate just nodded, trying to soak up every single inch of her mother's face before she was sent back to the wretched real world._

"_First I want you to know more then anything that I have always been with you." Kate was struck with a faint familiarity when her mom spoke the word 'always'. Where had she heard that before and why was it important? Her thoughts were derailed as soon as her mom continued speaking._

"_I have been with you through all your struggles and hardships. Through every relationship and every milestone. You need to know how proud I am of you. You are more then I ever expected in a daughter and I love you so much. I love every single characteristic you hold that makes you who you are. Even the ones that I want to talk to you about." Her mom's smile slipped slightly from her face, immediately telling Kate that she was serious._

"_First is your need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Your drive and your tenacity sets you apart from the majority of the people in this world but you have to learn when to put all of that aside and let the people you care about in. You have so many amazing friends and so many people who care about you. I want you to promise me that once in a while you will take a step back and remember that. Confide in your friends, allow them to help you carry the burdens you bear because, honey, I'm so afraid that one day you will break from holding them alone for so long. Allowing people to see the real you is not a weakness. It's a strength." _

_Kate thought about her friends from the twelfth. Ryan, Esposito and Lanie—even Montgomery were such amazing friends to her but she had never truly let them in before. She thought she was missing one important person but she couldn't place her finger on who that person was. The real world was really fuzzy to her right then._

"_Next is your desire for justice. I know how badly you want to solve my murder, sweetie. I understand completely but I don't want you to give away your life just because of my death. I told you that I am always with you so I can tell you this. The answers will come but you can't force them. Please, take a step back from my case and live your life. Be happy! Don't get me wrong, I am so immensely proud of you for the justice and peace you have brought to so many families, but I beg you to settle with the peace of knowing that I am watching you and loving you every step of your life. You say that you are scared that you'll disappoint me…fail me, but the only way you can do that is by getting yourself killed over this. Don't push to hard, one day the answers will all make sense."_

_Kate thought about the long hours she worked on her mother's case. The many nights she had spent awake in her room crying over pictures of her mother that were strewn across her bed. Could she really put all of that to rest? Could she really just walk away from it?_

"_The last thing I want to talk to you about is love. When I met your father, I didn't know at first that he would become the love of my life. Honestly, the first time I saw him I thought he was an over-achieving teacher's pet who wouldn't rest until he did better then anyone and everyone in his class. It annoyed the hell out of me!" She laughed, squeezing her daughter's hands._

"_But then I got to know him and I started to see him for the beautiful, kind, generous man that he was. I fell harder for him then I had ever thought imaginable and I don't regret one second of it." Kate wracked her brain for the thoughts that wouldn't surface. Why couldn't she recall whatever her brain was screaming at her to remember? Then, with 8 simple words, her mom brought everything she had forgotten to the surface._

"_Richard Castle is in love with you, dear. That man loves you more then I have ever seen a man love a woman. I am not going to talk about your relationship and I am not going to ask you if you love him back because I already know that you do. Never before have I seen you so comfortable with a man. He is truly your other half and if you let him slip away, Katie, so help me I will use my ghostly powers to get Lanie to smack you silly. It takes courage to give yourself completely over to love and I promise if you find that strength within yourself, you won't regret it." _

_Kate cried as memories played through her head like a montage of her life. She saw her and Rick in front of a bomb, holding each other's hands as they waited for their death. She saw Rick holding her in the freezer as she tried to muster up the courage to tell him how she felt before it was too late. She remembered the time she saw him kissing Natalie Rhodes and the jealousy and pure anger she had felt. Richard Castle was her one and done, and more important then anything… he had her mother's approval._

"_Mom, I wish you could meet him. He would love you. I wish more then anything we could all be a family. Every day without you is like a gaping hole. Castle helped patch it up a little but it is still there and I don't think it will ever go away. It's not enough to know that you are with me. I want to feel you hugging me, I want to talk to you and hear you respond. I miss you more then words can explain, Mommy. I don't know if I'll survive you leaving again." Kate cried harder then she had ever cried in her life. She held her mom, trying to memorize exactly how this moment felt. _

"_You can find all the strength you need in your friends and in your writer. They are the keys to your happiness. If you want to talk to me, speak out loud. Allow the comfort of knowing I can hear you console you. Always remember that I am so proud of everything you do and you could never disappoint me. As long as you follow your heart and allow your soul to guide you, I will remain overjoyed with your successes." Johanna smiled and stroked her cheek._

_Suddenly, pain overwhelmed her. She could feel this dream world slowly fading and drifting away and she tried as hard as she could to hold on to it. Realizing that she wouldn't be able to hold on much longer, Kate hugged her mom one last time and whispered, "I love you, Mom." She could hear the smile in her mother's voice as she said, "I will forever remain proud of you, my beautiful daughter. I love you more then life."_

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><p>Kate opened her eyes, surprised to find her cheeks dry. The pain she felt was unbearable and her heart was racing a mile per minute. "Castle?" She croaked, struggling to keep her eyes open and steady through the blinding pain she was feeling.<p>

Suddenly, she found his face and for a moment everything seemed to be ok. The world melted around her and it was just him. She wanted more thenanything to pull him close and kiss him but the mere movement of her arms caused more pain to tear through her body.

"You're safe now, Kate." She vaguely heard him say, her body starting to go numb. The doctors had clearly administered some sort of drug that was putting her to sleep very fast.

"Thank you, Cas—" Her voice drifted off. She tried to fight off the darkness that was encasing her. She needed to tell him how thankful she was. "You saved me. Thank—" Unable to finish, Kate allowed herself to be taken by the darkness that was pressing down on her. Right before she went under, she heard a soft chuckle and her writer whisper, "Always, KB."

This time, she dreamed of nothing but blackness.

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><p><em>I think I am happy with this chapter. Originally, I was going to make the dream sequence show Rick and Kate's wedding but at the last second I decided against it. Firstly, I may want to use those idea's for later (maybe, maybe not… thoughts?), and secondly, I thought that seeing her mom for the last time and allowing Kate that closure that she has craved for so long seemed like the right thing to do.<em>

_I would love to hear what everyone thought of this chapter, and also I'd like to thank you all for your kind words and messages for the last one. _


	7. Chapter 7

Kate woke up extra early that morning. She stood in front of her closet and stared at her clothes for 5 minutes before finally deciding on something to wear. Today was the day she had been counting down toward. Her house arrest (as she had deemed it) had finally come to an end and finally, she was allowed to go to the precinct and get to work. Sure, she'd be doing deskwork for the next month but it was better then nothing.

Today was also the first day she'd be seeing Castle since she left the hospital 2 weeks ago. She felt guilty about not calling him or inviting him over, but she had needed some time to get her thoughts in order. So much had changed in such a short period of time that she needed some time alone to figure everything out.

It shamed her to admit that she spent about 3x the time she usually spent in front of the mirror doing her makeup. She wanted to get herself just right. She wanted to look natural but with a little bit of an edge. She had left her wet hair up in a towel while getting ready so she could achieve the natural waves that she knew Castle lov—liked so much.

She wanted more then anything to pretend that nothing had changed between herself and the writer. Between her mother's revelations and Castle watching her in her most vulnerable state, she would be a fool to think they could just rewind and go back to the way things were.

The change in dynamic between herself and Castle had been clear to anyone who witnessed them. Obvious adjustments like the way Castle always seemed to have at least one hand on her at all times whether it be her arm, her shoulder, or even within her own. Also the way they now called each other by their first names (waking up and hearing him softly call her "Kate" still sent shivers down her spine… the good kind.)

Despite these obvious changes that everyone (especially Lanie, seemingly) noticed, there were subtle differences too, differences that only she and her writer could see. Before, with just one look Kate had been able to tell what Rick was thinking to a certain degree. Now, however, it was almost as though that connection had a new electricity. Just one look and Rick was able to penetrate her soul and see right through her. Just one look was able to send waves of pleasure coursing through her body like she had never felt before. Yes, the dynamic between the writer and detective had _definitely _changed.

Looking in her mirror, Kate gave herself a final once over before nodding in approval and heading out the door.

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><p>Rick woke up knowing <em>exactly <em>what day it was. He had a legitimate count down on his iphone set up ever since Kate had told him that she needed a little time to herself.

Wanting to beat her to the precinct, Rick rushed to get ready, quickly throwing on his favorite blue shirt and his best black pants. Admittedly, he spent a little extra time working on his hair then he normally would have… but today was not a normal day.

His thoughts were a haze all the way to the precinct. He stopped by his favorite café to pick up his regular 2 coffees and hadn't even noticed himself ordering. It was weird how second nature it was to him now.

Before he knew it, he had arrived at the precinct and was riding the elevator up. His heart was beating fast and he had to concentrate hard to keep from sweating. It was odd that he was so nervous to see her when he had virtually seen her almost every single day for 3 years now.

He strode over to her desk, placing one of the coffees in his hand in its usual spot to the right of her computer. Not wanting to seem desperate or anxious, he walked over to where Esposito and Ryan were sitting.

For the next 10 minutes, the boys proved themselves to make good distractions, but the internal clock within Castle's brain kept clicking, letting him know that his favorite detective should be arriving any second.

As soon as the elevator made it's usual dinging noise, he knew it was her. The doors opened agonizingly slowly but finally, Kate was in full view. Rick studied her and watched as she took a deep breath and entered the precinct.

To the untrained eye, it would appear that her demeanor was confident and poised. Anyone who didn't know her as well as he did wouldn't see how she was digging her finger nails into the palms of her hands and how her hair wasn't tucked behind her ears as though she was using it as a barrier.

As soon as she entered the main room, everyone in the precinct began to clap. She smiled, clearly embarrassed and mouthed a quick thank you to everyone before walking over to her desk and sitting down.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1. _Castle counted down in his head. He didn't want to seem desperate and run over to her as soon as she sat down. He didn't want to annoy her.

He strode over to her desk and was happy to see that she had already taken a sip of her coffee. "It's nice to see you again, detective. Would you shoot me if I said I missed you?"

"Smooth." Kate smiled, reminding herself not to be hard or cruel. She wanted to keep up this new dynamic with her writer. "I missed you too, writer boy. Everything was so silent without you!"

Castle couldn't believe his ears. Had she just admitted that _she _missed _him…_ in the middle of the precinct no less?

"Oh, don't look so surprised, Castle!" She said, biting her lip. She _must _know that it drove him crazy when she did that.

"You can't have been that lonely, Josh must've been around a lot." He regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. Not only because of obvious reasons, but her face fell a little when he said this—the playful spark in her eyes dulled a little.

"Josh and I broke up, actually." She said, quietly now.

"I hope you're ok, Kate. Honestly though, you're too good for him. It may not seem like it now, but you deserve someone that will _always_ be there for you." Rick had not meant to say _'_always' but somehow, the word had slipped out of his mouth without his consent.

"Actually, apparently I'm not too good for him because he broke up with me." She hated admitting this, but in all honesty, she was curious about how he would react. As well, she had made a new rule for herself over the past two weeks. No more lying to Castle (with some exceptions). He deserved to know the truth and she knew he was a good man who wouldn't use those truths against her.

"Follow me." Castle said, getting up and leading her to the interrogation room. She had expected some sort of reaction out of him but this definitely wasn't it.

As soon as they were both inside, he closed the door and locked it behind him. He didn't think about, nor did he care, whether or not anyone had seen them enter the room. At this moment, he had one thing on his mind and one thing only.

"Kate. I'm not going to touch on the breakup because you _know _how I feel about that. That ass hole doesn't deserve you and if he had the nerve to break up with you… especially after all that has happened, he doesn't deserve anyone." He took a deep breath, getting ready to say everything he had practiced this morning.

"Living with the knowledge that you may have died at any moment was torture for me. Though _you _were the one who had took 2 weeks for yourself to think and straighten things out for yourself, it also gave me some time to do the same. After weeks of deliberating and second guessing myself, I hadn't come to a conclusion until I saw you walk through that elevator this morning." He held out his arms and took her hands in his own.

"I don't deserve you, Kate. I don't believe I am a good enough man to ever be worthy of you but I promise if you give me the chance I will spend every day for the rest of my life attempting to be everything you need." Kate looked up at him, tears filling her eyes. Was he saying what she thought he was saying?

"Why are you saying this, Rick?" She asked, giving him one final opportunity to back out. It was all or nothing now.

"I'm saying this because I am positive that you are the love of my life. Katherine Beckett, I have fallen for you harder then any woman has ever made me fall, and I never want to get back up. I want to be there for you _always. _I want to be the person you call when you are sad or even when you just want to talk. I am saying all of this because I want you to give me a chance to show you that I can be your one and done. I want you to go out with me tonight and every night after. And though this seems like such a menial title for everything I feel for you, I want you to be my girlfriend."

Kate was silent. Her emotions were going haywire and she had no idea how to respond. She found it so cute how he stumbled over his words and was giving such an awkward speech because he couldn't find the right ways to express himself.

"I mean, you can always say no. Like if you don't feel—" Kate pressed a finger to his lips to cut his rambling off.

"Castle. For once, shut up." She paused, moving forward. "And please, please kiss me."

The writer clearly didn't need to be told twice for as soon as the words left her mouth, he leaned down into the most passionate kiss Kate had ever experienced.

His hands ran through her hair as their lips crashed together in a frenzied heat, their tongues battling for dominance. She squealed as he lifted her up and placed her easily on the interrogation table (that she would never look at the same again) and leaned into her further.

She grabbed his face with his hands and tried to no avail to hold back the moans of pure pleasure from escaping her lips. He smiled against her mouth at the sound she had made.

They pulled apart from each other only for air, still only mere centimeters away from each other's faces.

"I would be honored to be your girlfriend, Richard Castle."

Inside the observation room, Ryan and Esposito stood with 5 other members of the precinct, exchanging bills and collecting winnings. "I knew they'd make it, bro." Esposito said, as he high fived Ryan and collected his money. He, his partner and Lanie had been the only ones left in the precinct who were rooting for the couple. Everyone else had given up on them but they had known all along.

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><p><em>I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE THIS! It felt awkward to me. Feedback would be amazing, thank you so much. The next chapter will be the last. I'm thinking of doing a future chapter like a "5 years later" type thing… thoughts?<em>

_I was toying with the Ryan and Esposito ending for a little while but in the end I just had to put it in._

_Thank you so much for your continued feedback, it amazes me how many people read my stories. You are all amazing._


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